My sister's friends are coming over tonight.  Well, Prestyn and Jon.  Its kind of weird.  Not the whole prestyn thing, but the jon thing... after all, he's more my age and its weird to think of him and my sister, when i knew jon before she did...and we used to eat lunch together.  I don't know, its all kind of weird...
But anyway, i need to get dressed.  I called Kristen and James but both of them didn't answer.  I really want to see Starsky and Hutch tonight because that would be so much fun.  Plus i want to get out of the house while my sister and her friends are there, because I will feel awkward.  They're coming at 5, and its 4...so yeah.  Than there is also the fact that Robert called to have me cover his shift, but i really don't want to cover it so i haven't called him back (he left a message).  Dayum.  I hate when Starbucks calls on my days off.

How do I feel about school? Well, i realized, i'm a nerd.  I like school.  Wait, i LOVE school.  I like the work, i like the challenge, i like meeting new people, I like roaming the library and I actually have fun! Not to mention i have even started to like the homework.  I think it has something to do with the fact that i have no life anymore and that i'm happier being completely consumed by busy work than sitting alone, thinking... Because its when i start to think that i get those 'What is life' questions that really just f'ck up everything.  I don't want to think about crappy stuff, or my lack of friends, lack of boyfriend, so I just like to feel busy as if i'm doing something productive with my life. 

Well, i talked on the phone to hardcore jew for like an hour tonight.  I haven't talked to her in the longest time and i really missed her! I hope things can be the same with our friendship even though we haven't been close in a while, probably 8 months.  Anyway, she met this guy who is SO perfect for her and that's really awesome.  He surfs, he's jewish, he lived in Israel, he's Hott! etc...  That's really cool and i'm glad that she met this guy, i think he's much better for her than Evan.  Anyway, she also mentioned the "Hot Guy's Friend" who is really cool and that he is looking for a girl...  Could i be the one?? hahaha, im soo just kidding.  But no, i really DO want a boyfriend, or at least be dating.  
Anyway, that made me happy to get a call from her because I've been feeling really lonely lately.  Also, the debate thing got canceled, so it looks like I won't be judging which means that i have Friday completely off! YAy!  I really want to see the movie, Starsky and Hutch with East LA Wexican or "scared gurl" or my sister. haha.  That'd be fun!  I also want to see the movie, The passion, hardcore jew and my assistant manager both said it was really awesome and intense! 

The secret to life is to stay positive...

I hate when i feel this way and i HAVE felt this way for what seems like most of my life.  I don't understand why...
Whenever i read the xangas of my friends or people that i used to go to school with, it seems like everyone is having so much fun and that everyone has this giant core group of friends and everything is great.  I wish so badly i could live a life like them.
I don't know why i feel this way, because i literally am on the verge of tears right now.  Maybe its because i can't remember the last time i cried and i've been so insanely busy in the last month that i haven't had time to think about how i'm feeling.. I keep pushing my feelings to the back and now they're starting to surface and the weight of them is heavy...

I had to take Cheddar Bob to the vet today because he was sick because my mom stuck him out in the rain AND in the garage.  grr...  "He's got a house." -mom
Yeah, well it cost me 55 bucks and that sucks, because I had to basically give my tip money away plus some, right after i got it.  Damn.  Anyway, that is all around here.

I'm kind of feeling Emo right now...  Dammit, why can't my life just get perfect and stay that way??? Bleh. 

I've been working on my persuasive speech ALL DAY, since i got home from work at 10:30 am.  I took a break to work out and i burned about 300 calories on this one machine.  Anyhow, it feels good to work out.  I'm trying to avoid eating so much sugar, but its definitly hard.  I had a mocha frappucino today, cookies, and poptarts... Grr. I wish i had more self-control.  Anyhow, i'm pretty proud of myself for what i got accomplished today.  Next Friday i FINALLY have a day off.  Its my first day off in 3 weeks, so i'm pretty excited. 

I woke up at around 6am and took a shower, than i drove up to Starbucks...but its not the STarbucks that i work at, its the Starbucks that All-Star now works at and he describes working there as "eh..."
I've only been there twice in the morning and each time there is this one girl who has a really squeaky high voice, not only that but she's bubbly and says loud bubbly things in the morning.  I just brought this up, because it annoyed me.  It was WAY too early to be loud and bubbly especially if you have a high and squeeky voice.  So, i've been trying to avoid sugar lately, however there's not really any coffee drinks that i like that do NOT have sugar, therefore, i decieded to have a water (also to use during my speech), and a muffin, because it's important to eat on days when you need the extra energy (ex. givin a speech.) 

I have been trying to figure out the perfect time to leave my house in the morning for my class that starts at 8am.  For example, the freeway doesn't get bumper-to-bumper until 7-7:10am.  Starbucks doesn't get a long line until about 6:55- 7am.  Therefore, when i leave at 6:45 i go through the line quickly, than i get on the freeway and i have a clear drive to school, so I get to school at roughly 7:10am -- if you do the math i'm SUPER early (class at 8).  However, if i leave my house and get to starbucks at 6:50, i wait in the store (in line and get a drink) until 7 am -- than i get on the freeway by 7:10 am and i'm at school by 7:50... so its amazing what just a few minutes difference will make in the Starbucks line and on the freeway...

So, that was completely for my entertainment. 

In other news, i did my speech in Public Speaking and i think i did a really good job at it.  Now i have to write my speech for Debate class which is going to pose a greater challenge, i'm sure.  AlSo,
All-star called me today, surprisingly.  He said, jokingly(i think) that "Tattoo Sleeves" (the nicknames are hard to think of), said he was 'hitting on' me but i wasn't having any of it... Hmm.. ok.  But yeah, "Tattoo Sleeves" is one of those people that no matter how much i want to talk to them I can't think of anything to say, so unless he initiates the conversation i'm super quiet.  Yeh, so that's about it.

Does it ever bother you, that you will NEVER know everyone in the world?
That you will NEVER have EVERYThing you want.
You will NEVER be completely satisfied.
People LOVE to HATe drama.
There will ALWAYS be people who disagree with you.
Or that you Never know what happens after death?

Its funny to read people's entries.  Not so much, haha funny, but how there never really seems to be a unique thought.   'What is life' questions, well, there the same questions we've asked ourselves or someone else has asked.  Everyone is asking those questions -- and everyone always has different answers.